Mini Skirts & Paintball Guns
by Mistress 0f Dragons
Summary: [WILL BE REVISED/EDITED SOON!] What do you get when you add Riza in a mini skirt plus Riza armed with a paintball gun? Two things: a very bruised Roy & a blushing, ticked off Riza. Oneshot. Complete.


**Mini Skirts and Paintball Guns **

Disclaimer: I do not own FMA, so don't sue me!

A/N: Yay! I finally finished writing this fanfic! Now after a long wait, I present you "Mini Skirts and Paintball Guns"

Note: 'Lieutenant' is spelled correctly now. 5-21-07

This was the worst day of her entire life. She was humiliated, embarrassed, and a bit scared. Oh, she was going to _kill_ a certain flame alchemist. And to top off her "perfect" day with a cherry, she was surrounded by a bunch of fellow female officers, all wearing mini skirts, holding out a skirt for her to wear. They didn't know whom they were dealing with.

"_Bring it on_," she thought.

"What's going on here?"

The guys turned around to see Roy Mustang.

"Sir, it seems that the other female officers are gaining up on Lieutenant Hawkeye." Hughes replied.

Roy raised his eyebrows in interest and curiosity (A/N: and concern, but Roy didn't want me to tell you. --grins evilly--). "How so?"

"Lieutenant Hawkeye is the only one not wearing her skirt."

Havoc sniggered under his breath. "Maybe you should help her get it on, Roy." the guys knew that Roy had the hots for his partner in crime.

From the room where the girls are comes yelling and screaming. "I am not wearing any damn skirt!"

"Come on Riz, its not so bad. I mean, ya, there's a little draft now and then, but it's aright. Don't you want Roy to notice you?"

--Silence--

"Where in the world did you get that idea? I do _not_ like Roy. He is a Playboy. Just because he is the hottest guy in the building, which he is, _doesn't_ mean _I_ like..." Riza stopped, realizing what she just said.

"I knew it! I knew you had the hots for him! It's so obvious, since you follow him around like you have a diamond studded collar on and he is holding your leash."

Riza started to stutter. "I-I do not-t like Roy Mus-Mustang!"

"Yes you do! If you _didn't_ then you won't be stuttering! You know that you want to wear the skirt. So put it on!"

Riza crossed her arms. "No, and you can't make me."

--Silence--

"Lets get her girls."

Riza walked down the hall, her blush the color of a fire truck. She had caused many nosebleeds no, here and there, right and left. Another addition to the new female dress code was that they had to wear high heels.

"_Well, if Roy wants to play_," Riza thought. "_Then let the games begin_."

---With the guys--

There was buzz around the room, buzz about how hot Riza looked. Roy looked up from his desk, addressed his men. "Where is Lieutenant Hawkeye now?"

"In her office." replied havoc.

Roy rose from his desk, walking towards the door. "See you men later."

-------------------------------------------------------------------

"_Where is she_?" thought Roy.

He had entered her office to find it was empty. "Riza? Are you in here?"

Walking over to her desk, he peeked over it to find a gorgeous blonde. "Hello, Lieutenant, I found you."

Riza grins evilly. "So you have, so you have."

She reaches down to her side and picks up her gun. Having it face Roy, she fires.

--SPLAT--

A blue-green blob of color appears on Roy's face.

"Ahhh!!" yells Roy, running out of the room.

"Where do you think your going, pussy cat? I'm not done killing you yet!" yells Riza, following him.

"Al, you need to be more careful."

"Sorry brother."

"Full Metal, I am so sorry. This is all my fault. I should've been looking at where I was going. Where does this part go?"

Ed looks up from reassembling his brother, Alphonse. "That's his left knee plate."

--**Flashback**--

"I hear Mustang is now fuehrer."

"Whoop-e-doo al, whoop-e-doo."

"Watch out!"

--Clash, clatter, fall apart--

--**End of flashback**--

"There finished. You look good as new Al."

"Yippee!"

"Once again boys, I am sorry..."

Someone yelling interrupted the older man. "Watch out! She's ready to kill!"

Rounding the corner, a rainbow bruised Roy appears. A few seconds later, a bare-footed and mini skirt cladded Riza appeared.

Roy stops to look over his shoulder, but eeps as he is shot in the butt.

--Crash, clatter, fall apart--

Al sweat drops as he looks up at bug-eyed Roy (bug-eyed because Al is dissembled).

"Stay still Mustang, so I can kill you."

Making a quick decision, Roy jumps behind Edward. Peeping over Ed's shoulder, he gives a nervous smile.

"Now Riza, you won't want to hurt poor, little Ed..."

"I'm not little!" yells Ed.

Roy pats Ed's head. "Riza you wouldn't hurt poor Edward would you?"

Riza just looks at Roy for a few moments. "Oh would I?" positions the gun to fire.

--SPLAT--

A yellow-orange blob of color appeared on Roy's face. Ed had ducked just in time, only getting a bit of paint splatter on his coat.

Riza walks over to the stunned man, dragging him by the ear, over to an empty, no-longer used room.

Once in the room, she lets go off Roy's ear, which, in turn, is instantly nursed by his hand.

Looking him in the eye, Riza orders him to take off his pants. Roy's jaw drops, stunned that she would want to do _it_ while she was still on duty.

"Wha--"

"Give. Me. Your. Pants." Riza growled.

Roy did so without complaining.

"Thank you."

"What do you need my..." Roy stopped talking, ogling as Riza took off her skirt. Drooling and dreaming of "Riza Land", he doesn't notice that she has slipped back into the hall, wearing _his_ pants, leaving him alone with mini skirt.

--**End**--

A/N: OMG, its finally finished! --Faints from exhaustion and happiness--

MOE's muse: Anyway, R&R for scarlet, she has worked her a$$ off updating on time.


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